Ms. Leonhart, Or: How I Learned to Stop Whining and Embrace the Meta (Part 8)
by Dani Diaz
Part 8: Expectations and Reality
“It’s happening again.”
I was sitting in the passenger seat of my girlfriend’s Jetta as she drove us to Chipotle for our hour lunch after round 3 of the StarkDark Open Series 2.5K. I had just dropped my third round to local player Cayman, who beat me with Izuku Midoriya, On the Move and I was 1-2 on the day. Our teammates Richard and Paul were in the backseat, both 3-0 going into the break.
“Dani, it’s alright. Just bad matchups. It’s nothing to worry about.”
I didn’t want to hear it at all. “I can’t go 1-3 again. I’m literally writing an article series about how I’m not going to go 1-3.”
No matter what they said, I couldn’t get out of my own head. And what do you think happened next?
I went 1-3.
But we will get there when we get there. Let’s start at the beginning.
The Setup
Richard and I got to Counterspell around 9:30, and started helping the store owner set up the chairs at the tables and cleaning up a bit. When things were all set, we played a little game of retro to get the pre-tournament jitters out. I somehow managed to win with Eugenia into Lilith, which I must get down in writing to prove it happened.
People starting filing in shortly after, some familiar faces and some new! Our team of Anna, Cayman, Paul, and Tyler came in around 10 and we chatted for a while. We were very excited to see everyone and catch up, and before we knew it, it was game time.
Round 1: Josh on Air Pony Tsunotori
This was a fiery seven hander aggro showdown that ultimately came down to the die roll. I won and went first in games one and three, and I ended up winning those. Josh is an expert player and really put me through my paces with a Pony list that was firing on all cylinders. My first “oh no” moment of the tournament happened in game two when he blocked a Support from the Female Titan with an Eri Smiles and responded to have me play a non-attack as my next form. I played a 1 diff and played a The Jaw Titan’s Bite next. My jaw dropped as we went to blocks.
A second Eri Smiles hit the table.
I grimaced and said “Yeah, I don’t think I’m allowed to attack anymore” with a laugh.
The rest of the games were about how you would expect from the seven hander aggro matchup; we just slammed orange cards at each other until the health hit zero. I was on top of the world after taking round one against a great player like Josh who ended up in top cuts!
Round 2: Paul on Fire Porco Galliard
When rounds were posted, my heart dropped. I really did not want to get matched into my locals, largely because no matter who won, it would affect someone else’s chances of getting to the top cuts dance. I suppose it was inevitable, but it felt bad regardless.
I lost the die roll and already started thinking of how I was going to handle this. Paul typically didn’t start attacking until turn 3, so I had a little bit of time to get tempo and try to sculpt an attack hand that would get through his damage reduction and Barrier Shields.
Unfortunately, once I got into my games I made brutal mistakes that left me with no resources. I also got my first ever judge warning.
Two of my cards ended up stacked in my hand so I drew one extra. After fanning out my hand, I laid it on the table and put my head in my hands. “Paul, call the judge,” I said.
He sighed. “Oh, Dani. I’m sorry,” he said.
The head judge came to the table, and we resolved the issue by revealing my hand and Paul selectively removing one card. That also meant he knew all my block zones and he exploited that to great effect. I didn’t last much longer.
I’m sad that I lost, but Paul is an amazing player and went on to make top cuts. I was legitimately stoked for him!
Round 3: Cayman on Void Izuku Midoriya, On the Move
I love playing games against my team and Cayman especially, but I was pretty bummed to get paired against two locals back to back.
I went into this game more confident since I had won games against Cayman’s deck at the previous locals. Sadly for me, Cayman is an expert and adapted better than I did coming into the StarkDark tournament.
Game 1 took the better part of the hour, which you can probably imagine is a ludicrous amount of time for the aggro seven hander to live. It was a game of cat and mouse that he eventually managed to win with an absolutely massive flash move.
We didn’t have time to finish another full game so the set went 1-0 to Cayman.
And then I had my meltdown in Anna’s car, ate some lunch to recover some energy, and made some notes about what I thought was working and what wasn’t. I went into round 4 determined not to hit the dreaded 1-3.
Round 4: David on Order Pieck
Pieck was the most played character at the tournament (and I assume will be at Louisville as well), but I had never honestly played the matchup. David’s deck was on Order rather than the Death build that I assumed most were running, and it had some interesting card choices in it.
The problem with this match was purely matchup knowledge. I also made some key mistakes that I frankly should not have been making, like missing my static speed bonus on my attacks that would have depleted his resources further when blocking. We went to three games and it ended on a brutal hand full of Thunder Spear Barrages (which should not have been printed on Pieck’s symbols, in my humble opinion). [Editing Dani note: this is an incredibly salty take that is ultimately not constructive in the least. I’m leaving it in for accountability.]
So, it happened. 1-3. I considered dropping out of the tournament because there was no chance I’d play my way into the top cuts. All of my games were winnable and close, and my mental started to crack. I told myself I’d play it out and at least try to hit my goal of going .500.
Then the worst possible thing happened.
Round 5: Anna on Order Mollymauk
Of everyone on the team I’d want to play, my girlfriend is at the bottom of the list. And that’s not because I don’t love playing cards with her, not at all – it’s more so that in a competitive environment, only one of us can move forward. So, it’s my usual apprehension at playing against my locals but turned up to 11.
We decided to play it out and just have fun with it, but my mental state was in no way ready for what happened. I figured I’d get some traction early with my usual gameplan, but she smartly blocked with Big Fist Bash and the Breaker: 3. This is where I’m ashamed to say I started to act terribly.
I started overreacting to every little thing and making her feel bad for playing her game very well. It’s difficult and embarrassing to write, and we have already talked it out since. But I was so scared that I would do the worst I would ever do at an event, and it would be a loved one that did it to me, that I acted very childish about the entire thing. I absolutely hate what happened, because after all that hemming and hawing, I won the set 2-0 anyway. It was such a hurtful waste to act like that.
Maybe I really wasn’t mentally ready to compete.
Round 6: Seth on Fire Porco Galliard
Another seven hand size aggro matchup to close out the event. Seth and I had a great set, and it certainly was the mental palate cleanser I needed after my little meltdown. His only disadvantage against me was the amount that I’d played against an extremely strong Porco in Paul’s deck when practicing for this event.
He had a fun combat trick that Paul’s deck didn’t run, however: Hero’s Upbringing. My jaw about hit the table when he sealed my character after reducing his attack’s damage for the second time. Thankfully he had some bad check luck and I managed to win the set, bringing me to the coveted 3-3 record.
Closing Thoughts
I’m very happy that Richard and Paul ended up in top cuts, and I am glad that I got to 3-3. The negative part of my brain wonders if I would have ended up .500 had I played past round 4 in those past tournaments. I am immensely disappointed with not only how I played, but how I handled the losing.
The expectations were high going into this thing, and they should not have been. This was simply a test tournament for Louisville, a milestone on the journey. In the moment, I thought all the effort was for nothing. I thought I was an abject failure. Now with a few days of reflection, I know that’s not the case.
There’s a big difference between failing and giving up, and we’re not giving up on this journey. I’m determined to make some changes, both in my cardboard and in myself, to make sure we both have a great result and a great experience in Louisville.
If you were one of my opponents at this event, GGs my friends. Thanks for the games and the grace. I hope to see you again in Louisville. For the rest reading along, thanks for being here. It means the world that people are reading my stuff.
Keep coping, my friends.